EPS 36. The Default Parent and the CEO: Three Businesses, a Baby and a Traveling Spouse

What happens when you're raising a baby, managing a career and holding down the home front while your spouse travels for work?

In this episode of Overcaffeinated and Out of Effs I sit down with Ashley Bandemer, a new mom and multi-passionate entrepreneur who is building three businesses while navigating motherhood, partnership and the invisible load so many moms carry.

Ashley shares the honest reality behind what it looks like to be both the default parent and the CEO during a season when her husband has been traveling most of the week for work. Not only does she manage life at home with a baby and a puppy, she has also been adjusting to living in a new location without much local support.

Together we talk about:

• What it's really like being the default parent while building and running multiple businesses

• The loneliness that can come with motherhood and building a life in a new place

• Creating businesses and careers that support your family life

• The importance of community and support during motherhood

• Time-saving tips to help busy moms lighten their loads

• The things Ashley wishes more people knew about solo parenting – even when you have a supportive partner but still feel like you're doing so much on your own

  
  

Find Ashley at:

https://www.instagram.com/ashley_bandemer/

https://www.instagram.com/thebandemeragency/

https://www.instagram.com/littlelegendspartyco/

[00:04] Christi Gmyr: Welcome to Overcaffeinated and Out of Effs, the podcast for burned out, career-minded moms who are ready to stop pretending everything's fine and feel like themselves again.

[00:15] I'm your host, Christi Gmyr, burnout coach for moms, licensed therapist and mom of two. And I'm here to help you reclaim your energy, your identity, and your peace of mind.

[00:25] Whether you're lying awake thinking about the 87 things you didn't get done or silently resenting the people you love most,

[00:32] This is your space to feel seen, supported, and not so alone.

[00:36] So grab your coffee, hot, cold or day old, and let's get into it.

[00:47] Hey everybody, it's Christi.

[00:49] Welcome to Overcaffeinated and Out of Effs.

[00:53] In today's episode, I'd like to welcome our guest, Ashley Bandemer.

[00:57] Ashley is a proud mom and multi passionate entrepreneur driven by family, purpose and community.

[01:04] She founded the Bandemer Agency, a Midwest based virtual assistant and social media company, helping business owners reclaim their time and grow with confidence.[01:14] She also co owns Little Legends Party Company,

[01:18] a kids event rental business bringing joy and creativity to family celebrations.[01:24] Family is the heart behind everything Ashley does. It's what inspires her to build businesses that give others the same freedom, balance and joy she's created for herself.[01:33] So I've invited Ashley here today to share a little bit about her personal story of juggling multiple businesses while parenting pretty much entirely on her own during the week. Because as she told me before, her husband is actually gone for work from Monday through Thursday.

[01:50] So she does a lot of this really solo parenting during the week and also without really having a huge support system locally. So she's just going to talk a little bit about her story with us.

[02:02] So Ashley, thank you so much for being here today.

[02:05] Ashley Bandemer: Thank you for having me on. I'm so excited.

[02:08] Christi Gmyr: Thank you. I am excited too.

[02:11] Do you mind just by starting off and telling us a little bit about yourself, your family, your work? Like what does life look for you these days in regards to all the things running your businesses, raising your son, taking care of your puppy.

[02:23] All of those things.

[02:24] Ashley Bandemer: Yes. Yeah. So I am 27 years old. We recently,

[02:29] I guess I maybe shouldn't say recently anymore. We've been in South Dakota now for three years.

[02:34] Carson and I both grew up in Minnesota and kind of went opposite Dakotas for college and decided where we wanted to plant our roots was in South Dakota, which I love.

[02:45] But we don't know anyone in the town that we live in and we don't.

[02:50] There's Not a lot to do here, so there's not a lot of opportunities to meet people.[02:56] So that's been interesting. And then we had our son 19 months ago already. His name is Carter. He's the light of my life. I always.

[03:05] We're going through terrible dues right now, too, so.

[03:09] But it's been so much fun. It's completely changed who I am as a person. I wouldn't be an entrepreneur if it wasn't for him. I would not be working and doing the things that I'm doing if it wasn't for him changing my world completely.

[03:25] Right after his first birthday in March, we ended up getting a yellow lab puppy.[03:30] And three weeks after we got Koda, Carson got called to do a job that put him out of the house Monday through Thursday.

[03:38] So he is two and a half hours away in a hotel Monday through Thursday.

[03:44] And we just roll with those punches. We get it done, and it is.

[03:49] Christi Gmyr: We just.

[03:50] Ashley Bandemer: Yeah, we just kind of roll with it.

[03:52] Christi Gmyr: Oh, my goodness. So you are busy. A lot of things happening.

[03:58] Yeah. So tell us a little bit about, you know, so these businesses. You said that you really started them. You know, you were motivated to start them because of your new role as a mom.

[04:10] Right. So can you tell us a little bit more about that? Like what inspired you to start your very first business? And then how did it evolve from there?

[04:18] Ashley Bandemer: Yeah. So I. I'm grateful that when I was pregnant, I worked a 9 to 5 job, went into the office every day,

[04:25] and they gave me six weeks of maternity leave. And as I'm grateful for that because I know some people do not get that at all.

[04:34] We couldn't even go get our dog at six weeks because it was inhumane to take the dog away from its mother before eight weeks.

[04:43] So that seemed so broken to me.

[04:47] Christi Gmyr: Yeah.

[04:47] Ashley Bandemer: So I started figuring out what are the skills that I already have that I can turn into a business for myself so I can stay home with my child and I can, quite frankly, just make my own schedule.

[05:00] And I kept seeing virtual assisting stuff come up,

[05:03] and I really took a deep dive into that and started the agency.

[05:08] So now we help moms mostly,

[05:11] but really any small business owner with being able to put their computer away at the end of the day. And if that's to spend time with family or if that's to go out and do things that they actually like doing,

[05:23] that's our goal.

[05:24] Um,

[05:25] and we only.

[05:27] So at the agency, we're all moms. And that's my biggest thing, is that if I felt like the system was broken and I felt that I wasn't ready to go back to work at six weeks.[05:38] Most parents aren't either.

[05:41] Um, so whether the girls work that are working for me are full time or it's just extra money to help afford diapers and food and all the things that come with kids.

[05:51] That's my goal with hiring everyone. And then it's on the flip side, like I had said, it's to be able to help moms and parents be able to close their computers.

[06:00] Um, and from there kind of evolved. Actually, one of the ladies that work for me, it's a really good friend of mine,

[06:07] we were just chatting one day and we were like, what can we do that also helps our communities?

[06:12] And I know when I was trying to find stuff for Carter's first,

[06:16] first birthday,

[06:18] I couldn't find things. And I'm a very over the top overdoer.

[06:23] And I wanted like cute bounce houses and I wanted balloon arches and I wanted a bunch of stuff and I couldn't find it. So that's how little legends came into place of.[06:32] There's just no places where you can rent things for little kids now. There's the big bounce houses and the big things that are kids like 10 and up. But what do you do with a one year old?

[06:44] So that's where little legends came into place. We have sensory bins and ball pits. And we just made it so that parents on the day of birthday parties and celebrations, that's already so crazy.

[06:56] And I,

[06:57] I always have to plug that.

[06:58] If you're a mom,

[07:00] like the odds are, is you're getting yourself ready, you're getting all the kids ready, you're probably getting your husband a little bit ready and you're getting the party ready. So why not take that stress off of moms?

[07:14] Because it's insane trying to do things to get everyone ready. Why have to do the party too?

[07:21] Yes.

[07:22] Christi Gmyr: No. And I have to say, I mean, birthday parties, I know that they are so much fun, especially for the kids, and they are just wonderful experiences and create all these wonderful memories.

[07:31] But as a mom myself,

[07:34] I do not enjoy planning them. They are so stressful, you know, so it sounds like you really, you know, you thought about that and you really didn't do a lot to take the stress off of moms.

[07:44] And it sounds like, you know, really with both of your businesses,

[07:47] it sounds like you are just sort of,

[07:50] you really have that same goal and that passion drive just to really help and support other working moms or other moms. Really? Not just working moms, but other moms in general because of your own personal experiences?

[08:03] Ashley Bandemer: Yeah, absolutely.

[08:05] Christi Gmyr: Awesome.

[08:07] So you've described yourself before as being multi passionate. So what does that really mean to you? You know, you've obviously started both of these businesses, right?[08:17] But what does that mean to you, like as a mom and an entrepreneur?

[08:21] Ashley Bandemer: Yeah, I think I always put this in the perspective of that work life balance.

[08:28] And maybe I'm unpopular opinion, but there's just no such thing as a work life balance.

[08:35] So I take my two passions of working and being an entrepreneur,

[08:41] but then wanting to be a mom and be the best mom that I can possibly be in such consideration. So I know that there are days where I am a really good business person.[08:53] I am kicking butt, I am doing good things, I am being a great business person.[09:01] Maybe not the greatest mom that day and vice versa. The days that I am spending the entire day with Carter, we are coloring, we are doing activities.

[09:11] I'm not that great of a business person that day. And that's okay. And that's where my two passions lie,

[09:17] are within those categories. And now like family time is family time, business time is business time. And just trying to know that it's okay to not have that balance.

[09:27] But as long as I'm feeding both those passions,[09:31] I feeling fulfilled as a woman.

[09:34] Christi Gmyr: No, And I agree with you. And I think it's really. And it's interesting that you say that because I've had other people sort of suggest similar things in terms of how they think about it.

[09:43] Like just on the other day I was talking to somebody and she was like, oh, I don't think about it as work life balance. I think about it as work life harmony.

[09:50] Right. And so people have different ways of thinking about it. You know, the way I've always sort of thought about it is,

[09:56] is balance. But not in the sense of like 50, 50, like it's all going to be like this. And that's like to your point, you know, there are going to be some days where your time and energy and attention are just going to be more needed over here and other dates are going to be more needed over here,

[10:11] here.

[10:11] And how does that,

[10:13] like, what does that ideal, like balance look like for you and for your family? Which is going to be different for everybody

 and it's going to be different based on the day.

[10:22] Right, right. You know, so. But I think it's essentially like that same idea, like what you're saying, like it's okay to prioritize this thing this one day and acknowledge that that just maybe means you're going to give a little bit less of yourself to this other thing and then a different day,

[10:35] it might look different. So that makes sense.

[10:38] So going back to, you know, you mentioned that like this summer in particular is really when things started to get challenged for you. I think that's challenging for you. I think that's when you had said your husband had like started this new job and you started, you know, doing the,

[10:52] the long distance thing and him traveling.

[10:55] So can you tell me a little bit about what that time really looked and felt like for you on a day to day basis?

[11:05] Ashley Bandemer: Yeah, yeah. This summer was,

[11:07] I would probably say this summer was the hardest summer of my life because I was newly into my businesses. We, I mean I started the agency in January,

[11:20] I left my 9 to 5 in May.[11:23] Carson left for this job in the middle of May.

[11:27] So I was already scared because I just quit my job. That had consistent income, had benefits, had all the things to be an entrepreneur and Carter is young and I don't know what I'm doing.

[11:44] I'm, I'm a first time parent.

[11:48] Christi Gmyr: Nobody knows what they're doing. I'm just gonna tell you a little secret. Even if you're not a first time parent.

[11:54] Ashley Bandemer: Right. Who knows what we're doing. And then we got this yellow lab high energy dog that is going to be a hunting dog. So you have to do so much training with this dog and I,

[12:07] I don't know what I'm doing.

[12:08] And then we don't have anyone here in town with us. Our families are two and a half hours away.

[12:15] So we,

[12:17] it was just a,

[12:18] you're, you're going where for how long type of situation.

[12:24] And there were definitely days, to be honest with you, where like I just kind of sat down in the shower and cried and had to be like, you know what, like it's okay to have these emotions.

[12:36] It's okay to feel kind of alone, quite honestly.

[12:40] But I knew that I had to keep at it and just keep doing what I had to do. I had to get up, I mean I was getting up at four in the morning to work and then when Carter woke up I was full on attention mom mode where okay,

[12:56] let's get out the door, let's get to daycare. We got to daycare and then I grinded at home and tried to keep everything going.

[13:05] My house definitely wasn't the cleanest all summer. The laundry never really got kept up with. But the biggest thing is that I, for a while I didn't think I was going to be able to get through it and do it first.

[13:20] The first two months were tough and now we're on month seventh of it and I have the flow down. We got it down and we are just counting on the days till this project is done.

[13:34] Christi Gmyr: I can imagine. Well,

[13:37] one of the things that, you know that I'm curious to hear more about is just so solo parenting. Right. So obviously having kids,

[13:45] being a working mom, trying to do all the things is a lot for anybody, you know. And you are sort of in this in between spot where you're doing a lot of it on your own.[13:55] You're not a single parent. Your husband is there, he's just, he's not around a lot of the days. Right.

[14:02] And so I'm curious, like, what, what do you wish that more people knew about solo parenting? Especially like in particular for somebody like you where you have a supportive partner but you just, you still feel like you're doing so, so much on your own.[14:16] Ashley Bandemer: Yeah.

[14:18] I think the biggest thing is that you got it.

[14:22] Like there are days where it's going to be tough and you're going to feel alone, but you get through it, I think. I mean, Carson is an amazing father. He's an amazing partner.[14:34] We would FaceTime every night and chat.

[14:37] There's obviously going to be a little bit of a disconnect of like, oh my gosh, Carter, like had such a bad day, he was screaming all day.

[14:45] And your partner maybe not understanding that because they're not there.

[14:49] So I can see where when you're in the moment and you're in it,

[14:53] you may feel unsupported,

[14:56] but the biggest thing is just to tell yourself, like, you've got this.

[15:00] No one actually knows what they're doing raising kids. And it's okay to just roll with the punches. If you have dinner at 8pm One night,[15:09] that's okay. At least you're eating.

[15:12] If you fall asleep on the couch because you finally got the kids down and you laid down to maybe have some you time, watch tv, scroll whatever it is and you fall asleep on the couch and you wake up a little late the next day,

[15:27] it's okay. Like it's just okay. And that's what I had to learn because I am a very type A.

[15:34] Everything has a place.

[15:36] Let's stick on schedule.

[15:38] And I had to learn that it's okay that I'm not up at the second my alarm is going off. It's okay that we're not out the door at the exact second That I had in my timeline in my head.

[15:50] So yeah, so kind of letting go

[15:53] Christi Gmyr: of this idea, letting go of like maybe any expectations that you had before,

[15:57] letting go of this idea of,

[15:59] you know, perfection, just sort of like embracing the imperfection, acknowledging that,

[16:04] you know,

[16:05] perfection does not exist. Right. And to your point, like it's all okay. Right. People are still being fed,

[16:11] people are still,

[16:12] you know, getting to sleep eventually.

[16:14] Ashley Bandemer: Right.

[16:14] Christi Gmyr: And just it doesn't have to look perfect.

[16:17] So when your husband is away during the week, what would you say that are some of the hardest things that you personally have had to deal with?

[16:27] Ashley Bandemer: Some of it's with the dog.

[16:29] So she's a high energy dog and for a while, like she's a puppy,

[16:34] she would not listen.

[16:36] So mornings, I would say were probably my toughest time because I'm, I'm a morning person. I do my best work at the in my morning. So I try to get up and get a lot of my work done in the mornings.

[16:48] But then that's also getting everyone out the door for the day as well.

[16:53] So mornings I feel like for anyone that has to get kids out the door, if you know that, you know that it like you break a little bit of a sweat trying to get out or because you're getting everyone dressed,

[17:06] the dog would take off down the street. There were so many days where I was running in my pajamas down the street after the dog while I left Carter in the house just like hoping he was okay and then having to like run back home.

[17:21] And yeah, I think that was the hardest part is like trying to just maintain a healthy structure.

[17:28] It's okay that we're running a little bit behind,

[17:33] but also like I don't want to be two hours late to daycare and then we are missing like the morning naps and the morning breakfast stuff and all of that.

[17:43] Christi Gmyr: And it's prime time to do your work. Right. Because you said that's when you feel the most productive and the most energized. Yeah,

[17:50] I get it.

[17:51] I actually have to laugh a little bit because you know when you talk about breaking a little bit of a sweat. So I'm very much the same, right. Like that my kid gotta get em out in the door, out the door in the morning before I do all my work and everything.[18:01] And I live in central New York and so these days it's pretty chilly in the morning, like 27:30, 32 degrees when we go out to the bus. And I a lot of times don't bring a jacket.

[18:11] And my neighbors are like, aren't you cold? And I'm like,

[18:14] this feels really good right now.

[18:16] Like, I'll. I'll go inside in a minute. Cause you know, it won't last longer, right?

[18:21] Right now, like, I appreciate the chill. Like,

[18:25] you know, it does. It breaks a little bit of a slap.

[18:27] Ashley Bandemer: So I do the same thing. We're at 20 degrees here in the mornings, and I am walking out and my T shirt and our daycare lady looks at me. I'm like, I was sweating a minute ago.

[18:39] Christi Gmyr: If, you know, you know.

[18:42] All right, so, okay, so one of the other things that I wanted to ask you about,

[18:46] you know, so you've mentioned that, you know, since making this decision to move, you know, you don't really have a huge support system. You have not quite built up that sense of community,

[18:57] you know, so I'm curious, like, how did you find that? This sense of isolation, you know, not really having that support system,

[19:03] at least locally, you know, how did that impact your mental and emotional well being?

[19:08] Ashley Bandemer: Yeah, there are definitely days where,

[19:11] like,

[19:12] I would drop Carter off at daycare,

[19:14] lay there on the couch and just be like,

[19:18] what am I doing right now? What am I doing in the sense of why am I here in South Dakota when I could be by my parents, my in laws?

[19:30] What am I doing where I don't have consistent income coming in and I'm working these crazy hours to try to, like, build these businesses up?

[19:41] What am I doing? Like, just a lot of what am I doing?

[19:44] And it did put me. I would definitely say it did put me in a little bit of, like, that depression set of,

[19:52] I'm alone and I'm not feeling supported by, like, quite frankly, anyone. And it's just because I was so in my head of what, like, what's going on?

[20:05] And a lot of the things that I have learned in this last seven months of this transition of solo parenting during the week

 and then trying to, like, make up for a week's worth of absent in one weekend.[20:20] Basically,

[20:22] I do a lot of self reflection now. I work on myself. I do a lot of manifestation. I do journaling. And I try to not get so in my head of the negative thoughts because that was the worst part.

[20:37] If I would not have figured out how to start to get my thoughts out on paper and work on myself mentally,

[20:47] I would have spiraled. Like, we would have not. We would have been spiraling very bad.

[20:53] So I'm really grateful that I was able to find channels to get those negative thoughts out. But there were times where I, like, Laid on the couch all day and I'm like, I.[21:03] I can't do this anymore. Like, I'm sick of being alone.

[21:09] Christi Gmyr: Yeah, no, absolutely. And I think that that, I mean, I think that motherhood in general, there is this really big sense of isolation. Right. I think a lot of times people feel very much alone in their experiences.

[21:22] And I think that, you know, and then of course, people do, they have varying degrees of support, you know, and so moving to, you know, a new place where maybe you don't feel like you have that.

[21:32] And I imagine that you have people a phone call away, but it's not the same as,[21:37] you know, having them right there. So, yeah, I can imagine that that was really difficult. But it sounds like you were able to kind of recognize and sort of gain some awareness in terms of like, what some of the things were that were really making it difficult and some of the things you needed to work on.

[21:51] And it sounds like you've really kind of found some good,

[21:54] like, tools and strategies and things like that to kind of help you work through that and make it all more. More manageable for you.

[22:01] Ashley Bandemer: Yes, absolutely. Yep.

[22:04] Christi Gmyr: Well, and then what about,

[22:05] you know, boundaries? Right. So because they're so important, you know, we talk about boundaries all the time or things that were like non negotiables. Like, did you have to put any of those kinds of things in place to just sort of help you protect your time and your energy?

[22:19] Ashley Bandemer: Yeah, I definitely had to put some boundaries up and like non negotiables with business because for a while there,

[22:28] I mean, we were just starting and I'm so thankful and the growth that my agency has had. We are booked and busy,

[22:37] but there was a time where I was at the dinner table doing emails and working and I had to finally put a boundary up with not only my clients, but my staff as well.

[22:48] And just say after 5:30,

[22:51] I am unavailable.

[22:52] If you get a text from me at 9pm that means Carter is in bed and I can be working again. But for those hours, I cannot have computers open. Phones are in the bedroom and like, we just can't do that.

[23:09] So that was a. And that was a big boundary. And once I made that change, I definitely could tell, like even my stress levels came down. And then in regards to like family stuff,

[23:21] I don't know if I would consider it maybe a boundary. But we more so said Saturdays are our days. Like do not bother us on Saturday because that is the time for the three of us to bond and be a family for one day out of the week, basically.

[23:40] So that was a big boundary, too. We didn't see as much of our, like, extended family this summer because we needed to have time for just the three of us to be again.[23:55] Christi Gmyr: Yeah, no, that's.

[23:57] I would absolutely say that that's a boundary. Right. That's a really important boundary. And it's something that, you know, I think a lot of. I mean, I think boundaries are difficult for a lot of people for a lot of different reasons.

[24:07] But I think that that's really great that you are taking that time to prioritize yourself and your family. I mean, because our families need it and they're important, too. Right.[24:18] So.

[24:19] And it can be really easy when we don't establish those boundaries,

[24:23] to slowly start to see that time,

[24:26] you know,

[24:27] disappear. Right. Towards other things. So. But it sounds like that's something that you have sort of just decided, like, Saturday is our day, and you're really firm with it,

[24:36] and it sounds like it's worked out for you.

[24:38] Ashley Bandemer: Yeah. Yep.

[24:40] Christi Gmyr: Okay,

[24:40] so now you obviously, you know, you've talked a little bit about, you know, this business running the virtual assistant agency,

[24:48] and you talk about being, you know, really successful, being super busy. So that's awesome. So I imagine that you use a lot of things there to help with all of that.

[24:59] So I'm curious, like,

[25:01] one of the things that a lot of moms really struggle with is this idea that they have to do everything themselves.

[25:08] And so one of the things that we talk about a lot is the importance of delegation.[25:13] And so I'm curious, like,

[25:15] based on your experiences running this agency,

[25:18] what are some time saving or delegation tips that you think could be helpful for other busy moms who are looking to lighten their loads a bit?

[25:29] Ashley Bandemer: Yeah, I have to laugh a little bit because, yeah, it really. That is.[25:33] I think that's every mom's struggle, is how do we get some of this,

[25:38] especially mental load, too? Like, it is. It's all of it, not.

[25:42] Not even just tasks. It's mental load, too.

[25:46] The biggest thing that I've learned in this last year of having to start to delegate things is one when,

[25:58] like, your partner has the kids and you tell them a great example is, like, get ready. Get them ready for the day.

[26:07] If they're asking, well, where's the shoes? Where's the socks? Where's the clothes?[26:13] I just look at Carson with respect and I say,

[26:17] you gotta just shut the door and you gotta. You gotta find it. There was no guide for me.

[26:23] You gotta find it. And it's okay to say that it's okay to be like, you know what,

[26:28] you gotta just figure it out.

[26:31] The other things are like the big thing that I actually noticed is the minute I put my phone in the bedroom when I got at 5:30, it goes in our bedroom and that does not come out until Carter's in bed.

[26:47] That you get a lot done without those phones and like motif on.

[26:52] So the biggest thing that I tell people is just put your phone down for two weeks and see how much time you actually have. Because it is,

[27:01] it is a lot of you don't realize how much picking up your phone to just check a message or pick your phone up because you saw this notification, comes in,

[27:10] distracts you and pulls you away from things. Now that's not,

[27:15] that might not be very helpful to like delegate things, but it does definitely like put you more present in your life and it puts you in a position to have a little bit more time to either do things or to just be present with your family.

[27:32] Christi Gmyr: Well, and yeah, and to your point, I mean that's maybe it's not delegation specifically, but it is a time saving strategy because yeah, our phones,

[27:40] they do take up that time. I mean a lot of times we don't really think about or really realize just how much time we lose.

[27:47] I mean it's one of those things where like you could spend a minute here, two minutes there, five minutes there and it might not seem like a big deal, but if you add all that time up during the day,

[27:56] that can become quite a bit. So yeah, no, absolutely. Our phones can be very distracting. And I to your point, like sometimes we just have to put strategies in place where we're not tempted.

[28:08] Right. So you put yours in the other room. I mean mine, like, I'm like, I'm a therapist, so I have my phone with me all the time, but I have them do not disturb because I don't want people texting or calling me during my sessions.

[28:18] Right.

[28:19] But yeah, but without having that distraction, you can really just like focus on what it is that you need to be doing. So.

[28:26] Yeah, so that makes sense.

[28:28] So you have said before that really family, you know, it's at the heart of everything that you do. So what do you feel like that looks like for you personally when your life gets especially busy and chaotic?

[28:40] Ashley Bandemer: Yeah,

[28:42] I,

[28:43] because I surround myself with everyone that kind of has similar beliefs in that aspect of family comes first.

[28:53] When work gets insane and we have 15 million projects, it feels like all due on the same day and then you're putting out a fire at the same time,

[29:05] like, it's nice that in my aspect,

[29:09] every one of my staff are also moms.

[29:12] So if I see one of them struggling or they see me having a hard day,

[29:16] we can sit down and just talk about it for a little bit and just be like, oh, my gosh, like, I couldn't get. I couldn't get Carter to brush his teeth today.

[29:24] And it was like a 10 minute struggle of this. Like,

[29:28] that's so nice that I, like,

[29:30] set that up, but in the aspect of family, too,

[29:34] I. I just look at my family at the end of the day and I'm like, this is what I'm doing this all for.

[29:40] I love them so much and I just, like, I just. Being with them makes me happy. So at the end of the day,

[29:48] I get a hug from Carson if he's home, and we just take a deep breath if it was a tough day and we say, let's just go play for a little bit.

[29:56] And that's.

[29:57] That's all I need.

[29:59] Christi Gmyr: Yeah,

[30:00] yeah, no, absolutely. And just sort of. It sounds like really just sort of reminding yourself and focusing on your wise. Right. Why you do all of this. And I think that that's something that's so important for us

 to continuously come back to because life does get really hard.

[30:14] A lot of times we. We might get frustrated or resentful and,

[30:19] you know, wonder, you know, and it just, it can be incredibly helpful just to sort of come back and remind ourselves. Yes, but.

[30:25] And this is why, right? This is. This is the value. This is what's really important to me. So.

[30:30] Yeah, no, I appreciate you saying that.

[30:33] So for the moms who are listening and feel very alone right now, because I. I really think that this is something that so many moms unfortunately struggle with.

[30:44] What would you say to them? You know, the ones specifically who feel like no one just really, truly gets what they're juggling, what they're going through.

[30:53] Ashley Bandemer: Yeah.

[30:54] Um, I think first I would say you've got this.

[30:58] You're doing a great job.

[30:59] I think all moms need to hear that on a weekly basis.

[31:03] You're doing a good job.

[31:05] And I know when I started feeling really alone, I started looking for outlets on, like, how can I make mom friends?

[31:13] And a great spot is to see if you can find any mom networking groups.[31:18] We started one because me and my business partner for Little Legends. We,

[31:24] as much as we are very close, intertwined, we talk multiple times a day. We.

[31:29] We both have kids, though we live in different states, and it's tough to make mom friends. And it's tough to like, understand.

[31:36] I don't think anyone understands a mom unless you are a mom. You don't get it unless you're in that. And just finding a little bit of community goes a long way.

[31:48] So finding a networking group or finding a Facebook group where you can just type questions in and be like, is this normal? Or oh my gosh, like, I really had a hard day.[31:59] And finding that is important.

[32:03] But just know you're doing a good job.

[32:05] Christi Gmyr: Yeah, yeah, no, absolutely.

[32:08] Well, and to your point, I mean, I think that there are so many good, well intentioned, supportive people out there, but it's just there's another. There's something about getting that support started specifically from people who have been through it themselves, who can relate, who really, really just get it on an entirely new level.

[32:29] Right. And so making the effort to not just build supports with anybody, but really specifically like those moms. Yeah, I know. That makes sense.

[32:38] So before we kind of start to wrap up for today, I don't want to take up too much of your time because I know you are busy as well, just like all the other moms.

[32:46] Right. So where can,

[32:47] where can listeners if they go to learn more about you and your work?

[32:51] Ashley Bandemer: Yeah, we are on Facebook and Instagram.

[32:55] You guys can follow my personal page at Ashley Ban.

[33:00] The agency is the Bandamer Agency. And then Little Legends is just Little Legends on all platforms.

[33:07] We do mom groups once a month for networking. It's literally just going in there. We talk about wins of the month. If you got your kid to go potty on the potty, let's celebrate it.

[33:20] Christi Gmyr: That is a big one.

[33:22] Ashley Bandemer: If your kid's going through a sleep regression,

[33:24] bring it to us. Have people give you advice on what they did.

[33:28] That I think is the biggest support system that I've found are those networking groups that we've started. So if you're a mom and you just need some support,

[33:39] check out Little Legend's page. All the links are in there for the networking group and.[33:45] Christi Gmyr: Yeah, are those networking groups? Are those online then? Are they in.

[33:48] Ashley Bandemer: Yeah, we have them on Eventbrite. You can just look up Little Legends or if you look up Mom Group. I know some people have found them through mom group as well.

[33:57] Christi Gmyr: So. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So. But again, so that they don't have to be local to you. Just anybody.

[34:03] Ashley Bandemer: Yep. They're all. Yes, they're all on Zoom. So. And we don't make people put their cameras on. People have. And we've had moms nursing. We've had moms with boys going across back and forth on the couch behind them and as a true form of self.

[34:20] And we're here to just support. So.

[34:23] Christi Gmyr: Okay, awesome.

[34:25] So, as always, you know, I will make sure that that information is included in the show notes for anybody who is interested in learning more about Ashley or learning more about, you know, those groups.

[34:36] Um, so before we wrap up, if you could leave the listeners with one final message, one final piece of advice, what would it be?

[34:44] Ashley Bandemer: Yeah,

[34:45] you've got this.

[34:47] No one knows what they're doing.

[34:49] And go out and try to be the best version of yourself every day.

[34:53] Whether that's you being a good business person, you being a good mom,

[34:59] you just getting out of bed one day, like it.[35:02] Just try to be the best version of yourself every day.

[35:06] Christi Gmyr: Okay, awesome.

[35:07] Well, thank you again, you know, so much for being here. I really do appreciate, you know, you taking the time.

[35:13] And as always, for the moms listening, if any of this resonates, if you found any of these things to be helpful, please share this podcast with other moms that you think could use some additional support.

[35:23] Because we are all in this together.

[35:26] Ashley Bandemer: Yes.