Back-To-School Isn't A Fresh Start If You're Already Burned Out

Back-to-School Isn't A Fresh Start If You're Already Burned Out

As we approach the end of summer, some families are excitedly preparing to send their kids off to start another year of school.  Other families have already done it and are adjusting to new classes, new teachers and new routines. And with that, every year around this time the messages start showing up everywhere.

“Are you ready for a fresh start?”

“Get organized for the new school year!”

“This is your chance to get back on track!”

It makes sense. This is a time with a lot of new beginnings and, for a lot of parents and kids, back-to-school is portrayed as a reset button. A chance to finally get organized, establish routines and catch up on work while keeping the house under control and somehow being the calm, patient, put-together mom you've been hoping to be.

But for a lot of moms, that's not reality. We're painted the picture of the fantasy but what if that's not actually how you feel?

What if, instead of feeling excited, you're already exhausted? What if the thought of packing lunches, managing homework, coordinating drop-offs and pick-ups, remembering permission slips, juggling sports schedules and trying to keep up at work makes you feel overwhelmed before the school year has even begun?

If that's you, I want you to know something. You're not failing and you're certainly not the only one. The truth is, back-to-school isn't always a fresh start, especially if you're already burned out.

Before We Dive In....

Hi! I'm Christi. I'm a Burnout Coach for Moms, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, a podcast host and a married mom of two incredibly amazing kids who I love to pieces...and who also make me want to pull my hair out.

Let me tell you, when I say I understand what it's like to feel like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders while trying to hold everything together for everyone else, I really mean it. And I also understand that we're working against a system that wasn't built with working moms in mind.

I've been there personally and I've worked with countless women who have been there too.

One thing I've learned is this:

Burnout isn't solved by a new planner, a color-coded calendar or a better routine.

Yes, those things can absolutely be helpful. But if you're emotionally exhausted, the problem usually isn't your organization. That might be a surface-level problem but the real problem is what's underneath.

The real problem is the weight you've been carrying for way too long.

Why Back-to-School Can Feel So Overwhelming

For many working moms, the end of summer doesn't feel like one chapter ending and another beginning.

It feels like another list and another set of responsibilities. It feels like another season where everyone needs something from you. For burned out working moms, this season can quickly turn into back-to-school burnout before the first full week has even begun.

Before the first day of school even arrives, you're probably already thinking about:

• School supplies

• New clothes and shoes

• Teacher assignments

• Open houses

• Transportation

• Lunches

• Homework

• Extracurricular activities

• Childcare (this is a big one, and one I talk about in other podcast episodes, live trainings and blogs)

• Adjusting work schedules

• Making sure everyone else has what they need

The mental load starts long before the first day of school. And while everyone else is excitedly talking about fresh starts, you might simply be wondering how you're going to keep all the balls in the air.

Burnout Doesn't Disappear Just Because the Calendar Changes

One of the biggest misconceptions about burnout is that it goes away once life becomes less busy. Unfortunately, that's rarely how it works.

Burnout isn't simply the result of having too much to do this week. It's often the result of carrying too much for too long without enough time, support or opportunities to recharge. 

So while routines may return and summer schedules may settle down, the emotional exhaustion often comes right along with you.

The Pressure to "Get It Right" Starts All Over Again

Back-to-school also has a way of bringing perfectionism back to the surface. You want your kids to have a great year (of course). You also want to stay on top of work, have healthy meals on the table and remember every important date.

You want to be more patient, more present and more organized. Basically you want to be more of everything.

To be clear, there's nothing wrong with having high expectations. For most successful, working and career-minded moms, you wouldn't be where you are today without them. The problem is that maybe your expectations are too high.

I want you to think about that for a minute. For every mom, there's a line between high and too high. Usually it's the same as the line between good enough and exceptional. It's also usually the same as the line between feeling good physically, mentally and emotionally....and not. It's the point where the extra time, energy and attention you're putting in stops giving you enough back to justify the cost.

It's the line where the benefit stops being worth the cost.

A Fresh Start Doesn't Mean Becoming a Different Person

One of the biggest mistakes I see burned out moms make is believing that a new season means they have to become a completely different version of themselves.

They tell themselves things like:

“This year I'll be more organized.”

“I'll stay caught up.”

“I'll finally find balance.”

Those goals are usually well-intentioned but they also assume that if you just try harder, everything will fall into place. Unfortunately, though, the “just work harder” mentality usually doesn't work for working moms.

The truth is, you don't need to become someone else. You need to start taking care of the person you already are.

Instead of Asking, "How Can I Do More?"

Try asking yourself different questions. Ask yourself things like:

“What do I need this school year?”

“What can I let go of?”

“Where do I need more support?”

“What expectations am I putting on myself that aren't actually necessary?”

“Which responsibilities truly belong to me?”

Those kinds of questions shift your focus away from doing more and toward creating a life that's actually sustainable.

Five Intentions for a Healthier School Year

Instead of making another long list of things you need to accomplish, consider choosing a few simple intentions instead.

1. I will stop expecting myself to do everything.

2. I will ask for help before I reach my breaking point.

3. I will protect my energy instead of giving every last ounce away.

4. I will remember that "good enough" is often more than enough.

5. I will take care of myself with the same compassion I offer everyone else.

Remember, The Goal Isn't a Perfect School Year

There will still be mornings when everyone is running late, someone will forget their lunch, a permission slip will probably get lost, dinner might come from the drive-thru or you'll lose your patience sometimes.

And that's okay.

That's not failure, that's life. Your children don't need a perfect mom. They need a mom who feels emotionally supported enough to keep showing up, even on the messy days.

You Deserve a Fresh Start Too

When people talk about back-to-school, they're usually talking about their kids. Kids get excited about things like new teachers, new classrooms and new routines.

But what about you? Maybe your fresh start is about becoming kinder to yourself. Maybe it's about setting healthier boundaries or asking for help.

Maybe it's about finally addressing the burnout you've been carrying for months, or even years.

Because you deserve a fresh start too.

You Don't Have to Do This Alone

If you've made it this far, one more thing I want you to know....

You don't have to figure this out on your own.

One of the hardest parts of burnout and motherhood is believing that you have to carry everything by yourself. That asking for help somehow means you're failing or that you should be able to handle it all.

But here's the truth: You were never meant to do this alone.

If you're reading this article, my guess is you've been trying your best to push through, hoping things will eventually get easier on their own. Maybe you've been telling yourself this school year will be different if you can just stay more organized or manage your time better. But you deserve more than just getting through another school year.

Let me help.

Whether it's accessing my free resources, purchasing one of my self-paced digital courses or e-books, or signing up for one-on-one coaching sessions for personalized support and accountability, my goal is to help you feel supported, overcome burnout, reconnect with yourself and create a version of motherhood that feels more sustainable.

Whether you're ready to jump in with both feet or simply take one small step today, I'll meet you where you are.

Visit my website HERE to learn about all the ways I can help you.

From mom to mom, please remember you are not alone and I'm always cheering you on.

xoxo,

Christi